Pants-free is the way to be. Maybe.

December 12, 2011 § Leave a comment

When I stay in on a Saturday night, I’m typically doing something wild like reading or knitting or compulsively measuring all of my food on a kitchen scale (don’t worry, I’m way more tame on week nights).  I never really considered what other folks do, nor did I ever much care.  This past Saturday, however, I unwittingly learned that not everyone is as indulgent as me.

My roommate and I, on our way out for a night of drinking and debauchery, were casually strolling down the street on Saturday evening.  As we walked, I glanced up at a building we were approaching, my gaze happening to brush over a partially open window blind totally innocently. I swear, I’m not a peeper.  Within, I caught sight of what I believed was a naked leg.  Just a leg, sitting on a chair (at the time, I presumed there was a body attached, although now that I write this I see that this story could have had a VERY DIFFERENT ENDING). (The previous parenthetical aside is begging for puns to be made. Begging. As you’ll soon see.) (Also, please check out my mad grammatical skillz just now. Do you see what I did there? And here?)

It was a momentary glimpse, however, so I thought perhaps it was khaki pants. Or hell, some guy having underwear time. Because why not? Who doesn’t have pants-free time on occasion? I guess that’s a question for another time.

Finding this amusing and curious to know whether I’d really seen what I thought I’d seen, I made my roommate accompany me to go back to check it out.  As we stood looking up, me pointing out the window in question and the two of us trying to determine what we were seeing, we noticed something else: an elbow and attached forearm engaged in an easily recognizable repetitive motion.  At which point we felt it appropriate to give this guy some privacy that he hadn’t afforded himself.

What you have to understand is that the blind itself was perfectly positioned so that all we could see was the side of a thigh (and bits of arm).  It was a totally PG-13 experience, but with so much potential for further, um, revelation that it was fabulous. Because there’s nothing funnier than other people’s folly.

Moral of the story: if you’re going to get naked, you may want to double check your curtains.  Or not, if that’s what you’re into.

Now, let’s work on those puns about a different ending.  I’m thinking of phrases like “happy ending” and “dismemberment.” You’re welcome.


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